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The Blizzard of Oz 2011

1 Feb

Welcome to Oz and our very first, possibly, real snow in 2011. We knew it was coming, thought it was somewhat exaggerated (Scoff! 9-14 inches?) and some of us actually prepared for it anyway. While the droves of panicked Lawrencians flooded the grocery section of Target last night buying up milk, diapers, formula & bread – I was casually strolling the aisles in search of Red Pepper hummus, the perfect companion flavor of  Wheat Thins, a package or two of brat-dogs & some buns. Not to mention that last night I made heaven on a plate with my rendition of Nachos ala Kimberlee, but I digress. This doesn’t make me smarter than the other folks, just cooler :p

So here I sit after a hummus breakfast attempting to get some work done (real-job sort of stuff) while snowed in with 3 kids who are hyped up on brownie bites, sugar cookies & Sunny Delight. I may need to take my chances outside!


Thought Spewage

17 Jan

I’m pretty good at telling other people what to do, how to do it, when to do it, perfect execution, flawless advice, etc etc. However when it comes to me swallowing my own medicine… I suck at it. I consider myself a damn good friend. If you need me, I’m there. I may not be the best at consoling people but at least I’m honest & I do try. I really have no sympathy for stupidity. Where’s the growth in that? Honestly.

So where does this come from? Seriously Kimberlee, why the hell do we care?

Well… last Friday I was cornered in the bathroom at work by a female co-worker who was crying hysterically. Obviously she needed *someone* but my first impulse was to get the hell out of there. I barely know her & in the 2+ years I’ve worked there, I’ve taken no interest in getting to know her. Work is work for me. Of course running out of the bathroom was out of the question. That’d just be rude. So I asked her what was wrong. Dumped via text. Wow! Even I know you never text message breakup & being the smartass that I am, those words poured right out. “You can’t text message breakup.” Any of my friends would have gotten the reference (those of you who don’t – psst video)

Anyways – it was obvious, she didn’t get it. So much for a funny awkward fix? I asked her if she wanted me to grab someone else (you know, like one of her friends) but she didn’t answer or I missed it between sobs. So that was it. Spewing advice, I can do. Yes, I can do *this*. That is exactly what I did. Now if she actually took it was a different story.

Snowmageddon 2011

10 Jan

It only looks innocent...

We finally got a load of winter snow in Kansas. Nothing like the blizzard we had last year but who knows, just because it’s late doesn’t mean it’s not prepared to give us hell. Normally when we get anywhere from 5 inches or more I telecommute instead of driving the 36+ miles one way into Overland Park through what is best described as Mario Cart snow covered highways. Today though I decided to take my chances. It was either stay home with three kids cooped up since all the schools closed due to inclimate weather or take my chances on the road. Here I am bloggity bloggin’ from my warm corner cubicle miles away from home – I think I chose wisely.

Mmmm kid-less free coffee!

C’mon Already…

4 Jan

These days nothing can seem to move fast enough. I’m ready to GO GO GO! Everything else is just… crawl crawl crawl. I’ve been in Kansas for three years now (as of Feb 8th, 2011), just waiting and waiting and waiting some more for something to happen. This is the year baby, oh yea 2011 – I can feel it.

  • Wedding? Eventually.
  • My first house? I hope so.
  • A raise? Oh hells yes! Mayhaps.
  • A hammock in the shade? Make it so.

I raise my glass, a toast to making it happen – anyone who dares to stand in my way can lick my glass.

And we’re back…

3 Jan

Welcome to the New Year & Monday back to work. I thought I’d do a post about my New Year’s resolutions but I’ve decided this year I’m resoluting (so not a word, huh?) to not have any. That WAS NOT my lazy way out so stop looking at me like that. I *did* think about it – honest. I thought “mayhaps I should blog more” and “mayhaps I’ll work harder towards getting the farm I want this year”, etc etc. Honestly though I really don’t need to declare these resolutions. They’re more like “Damn it *this* will happen!” or, ya know, it won’t.

As for the blogging more… I’ve said it before, but ya know it’s hard. It’s like soooooo hard. Sometimes I have this really great idea and I want to blog it but then I get distracted by shiny things and the motivation to blog is just gone. By the time I actually sit down to blog I end up just staring at my screen wondering what I could possibly write that would be even remotely entertaining. Of course then I begin to agonize over finding anything, just a breadcrumb, or speck of interesting anything from my life and realize “Nope, can’t blog that” or “oops that might be too personal” or “Whelp, that might piss people off even if I found it hilarious.” Needless to say, I’m my biggest censor.  I’ll work on that, I promise.

Until then you get an update. Ooooo exciting! *Not*

I believe I’m finally finding my groove working two jobs. Yes, two. My full time web-design job pays well but if I intend to keep my Batmobile, a second job was needed. That’s where KU comes in. I’m not sure what the actual name of my 2nd job is but if I had to name it myself, I’d say “awesome custodian to KU athletics department and stuff.” It’s like night & day. Kinda like having a secret identity that’s not really secret. Monday – Friday from 8-4 p.m. I’m a mild mannered web designer spamming up your internets in a cubicle and by night I’m a fast paced cleaning machine (with a radio, huzzah). In between I’m attempting to raise kids, play WoW (World of Warcraft) and keep my fiance happy. I think in the end I achieve zen or something. Hey, I can dream.

Anyroo, here’s to my first blog post of 2011 and the promise of more.

Happy New Year poppets!

You can’t make me wear a bra!

5 Dec

One thing that I’ve held onto for dear life from my childhood is Pajama Days. If there is any chance that I can *not* put on a bra, *not* go anywhere and stay in pajamas all day – I’m all over that like flies on shit. Today is “hopefully” one of those days. It’s going on 1 p.m. and so far I haven’t had one adult responsibility that has made me leave the house.  Huzzah!

Honestly, other than sharing the fact that I am anti-getting dressed today, I have nothing else to share. Viva la Pajama Day!

Oh and unrelated: It’s now snowing on my blog.

“The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event. You go to bed in one kind of a world and wake up in another quite different, and if this is not enchantment then where is it to be found?”
J. B. Priestley

The Commuter’s Road Rage

3 Nov

Believe it when I say this is an actual pic taken with my cell phone in dead stop Kansas City weekday morning traffic. This was yesterday. I hated yesterday. Today was a close second in the worst morning traffic I’ve hit this Fall so far. Notice in the pic how far up those brake lights go? This was the K10 to I435 on-ramp. It stayed that way for at least 10 more miles.

I live in Lawrence and work in Overland Park. So for the past two years I’ve been scuttling along the K10, 435, and 69 twice a day, 5 days a week in traffic. Those that know me well are familiar with my normal bitching about commuting “40 miles one way” to work Monday through Friday. I thought it might be funny to share with you what I’ve learned from commuting. (This is a recycled post with a few tweaks from one I wrote on back in April.)

Things I’ve learned from Commuting:

1. Commute Karaoke is funner when you’re not alone & you both know the song.

2. Guys with pacifiers passing you on the K10 are not only fascinating but really creepy. “Why does that guy suck on a binky while he drives anyways? Drive faster & get away from him, STAT!” The craziest part is that I know he has to live in Lawrence.

3. Always expect heavy traffic & asshole drivers whenever there is a decision to be made. “zOMG do I want to merge left or right? Oh noes! I don’t remember how to merge! This is a very important decision, I must go 25 mph til I sort this out. Was it the 435 or the 35?”

4. Quivera always has drama no matter what time of the day you must past this exit. If it’s not a vehicle fire, a stalled car, ninjas,  a cop who finds it hilarious that no one will pass him going 45 mph in a 65 mph zone, an accident,  or sword fights, you can be guaranteed that it is definitely something lagging up the commute.

5. Every day that I belt up and head into the wonderful world of commuting I know that I am risking my life and should receive “hazard pay” for the brave acts I perform daily on the dangerous roads with idiot drivers who must have gotten their licenses from cracker jack boxes. (Going off on a tangent here) One time a PT Cruiser who was going the opposite direction on the K10 flew across the center grass dividing area & headed straight for Kelso & I (when we carpooled). We both screamed & Kelso swerved. After he passed us, he crossed back over to his side & drove off. Yea, commuting is at least that exciting once a month, every month. I’ve had blow outs, break downs, near death experiences & speeding tickets.

6. Even the sweetest of people, like myself,  can develop the worst symptoms of Road Rage and no soccer mom is safe.

7. If it rains, snows or a cloud passes in front of the sun, Kansas drivers forget how to drive. I call this weather related amnesia.

8. A cop going eastbound will not hesitate to flip a bitch in a heartbeat to pull your ass over going westbound for speeding.

9. During the winter, commuting plays out like Hover Kart Battle or Mario Kart but with more carnage. You always feel like you’ve won if you make it to work and didn’t end up as a smoking wreck trailed by skid marks in the snow on the shoulder of the road.

10. I honestly believe that Kansas has the  most vanity plates than any other state I’ve lived in. I’ve lived a lot of places in the U.S and never seen so many. Figuring them out is part of the fun. Just one of many games I play. Someday I should post the collection of pictures I have & let you my favorite & only reader, play along.

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